The Road Not Taken
- Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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When you've been to hell and back it's
easy to stay on the same path--the road full of pain--not because you're happy
but because it's easy. You've gotten comfortable there. You don't want to be
there but the alternative--coming face to face with your issues (or maybe more
accurately, your demons)--sounds too scary so you forge ahead and tell
yourself you're OK.
This works for a while but the problem
is you can only keep all this nasty stuff hidden for so long. You can only lie
to yourself for so long. It will come up, one way or the other, whether you
like it or not. It will rise to the surface and force you to deal with it
sometimes in many forms at once. For example, you may be in a relationship and
your past unresolved pain is causing problems. This happens to everyone; we all
have baggage. But how many failed relationships do you want to go through
before you stop and realize that you are killing them? It's never just one
person's fault, but too many people blame the other person and don't take
responsibility for their own mistakes. It's easy to just move on and find
someone new but the cycle will keep repeating itself.
Now, count yourself extra lucky
if you're in a relationship and your demons are coming to the surface as the
bond between you two deepens and your mate is loyal and tries to understand you
and work through it with you. This person is a blessing and you should thank
your lucky stars! Seriously. Stop right now and say a prayer, thank the
universe, whatever you'd like, because so many walk away when the sunshine
turns to clouds and the roses wilt.
Now comes the hard part. You have been
given this beautiful opportunity to overcome all this unnecessary garbage
you've been carrying around. You've been given a chance to stop the
vicious cycle, to grow and to learn, to heal yourself.
Love yourself enough to let it go. Maybe
you think you deserve it. You may even think you deserve to be unhappy. I can't
tell you how to heal yourself. That's something that is unique to everyone. For
me, I began focusing more on my first love, the thing that fills my heart with
joy and passion, you guessed it: writing. I started focusing on all the good in
my life and stopping to really think about all I have to be grateful for. It's
hard. When you're in the thick of it, it's so easy to be
self-destructive and turn back to your old habits. But just try. Just say,
"today I'm going to try to eat healthy." Why? Because what we eat
affects us so much more than we realize. It affects our emotions.
Over-processed and toxic foods full of chemicals will make you feel like $%#!
so stop putting that in your body! The last thing you may want to do is
exercise, but tell yourself you will walk for ten minutes. That's it. Maybe you'll
start to feel better and want to keep walking. Maybe you won't and you'll have
to force yourself the next day. That's OK. Just keep doing it. Years and years
of scientific research on the anti-depressant effects of exercise cannot be
wrong. It has been shown to be the equivalent of taking an anti-depressant and
with no scary side effects. Yay!
Basically, stop and ask yourself what
you need. Do you need a couple days to yourself? Do you need to set aside time
for exercise? Do you need to eat healthier? Do you need to go see friends? Go
see a therapist? Whatever it is, you're worth it so do it! We only get such a
short period of time on this planet, do you really want to spend it feeling
like this?
You are on a road. You come to a fork in the
road. You can choose to walk straight ahead and stay on the same road you've
been on for years. You already know what lies ahead. You don't like it but you
know what to expect and it is not really what you want but it's comfortable and
easy. You may even think you deserve to stay on this road to pay your penance
for all the wrongs you've done. OK, well you've paid for your sins enough. It's
time to forgive yourself.
Turn to your right and start down the
new road. It is new unfamiliar terrain, it is rough at first and you find
yourself tripping over rocks in the road. Get up and keep going. Because when
you look up ahead, you see a clearing and a bright brilliant light peeking
between two large trees. It is so blinding that you cannot even see what is
there but you have a feeling you should follow it. You want to get to that
light. You saw no such thing on the other road. On the other path, you could
see what was in front of you for miles and it was dim and gray but it was
clear. But none of that matters anymore. You've chosen to be brave and you've
chosen to love yourself and give yourself a chance at happiness. While you're
walking to try to reach the light, you will trip and fall and get hurt. You
will cry and think about turning around so many times but you keep going
because you feel that what you're doing is right. You are on the path of
healing and you look around and see your friends and loved ones along the sides
of the road. They are jumping for
joy--literally--because they are so happy for you. They are cheering you on.
You start to feel happier and more hopeful. So this is why I took this
road, you say. I'm actually starting to feel better. Wow.
We have a tendency to stay with what we know.
Change is scary. Healing is scary. Letting go of the beliefs and attitudes
you've been holding onto for so many years is terrifying, but you can do it.
The first step is the hardest. Be brave. Rip off the band-aid and toss it aside
and don't look back. You're finding your happy.