1997
Disclaimer: When I was 16, wrote a short series about a family named the Donners called The Donner Chronicles. They are an incredibly stupid hillbilly family from Alabama or Arkansas; they don't really know.
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The Ugly Tree
Ricardo thought, Maybe I should just walk away. He was still sprawled on the floor. Then he shook his head and thought, No, I've come this far, I'm going for it. So he got up and walked closer to the girl.
Not knowing what to say as sweat started to drip from his forehead, he blurted, "See anything interesting?"
She looked annoyed and said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I see an interesting creature standing in front of me that looks like he fell down an ugly tree and hit every branch." She walked away.
A few minutes later, Ricardo told his family what the girl had said. They were all amused and decided to leave the store and find an ugly tree. On the way out, Tommy stopped to ask the cashier, "Excuse me, would you happen to know where the closest ugly tree is?"
The cashier stared at him, confused and said, "Looks like you already found it."
Tommy shrugged his shoulders and said, "That youngin' sure wasn't any help! Everybody knows they's ain't no trees in grocery stores." He rolled his eyes and walked out of the store with his family. They found a deserted area behind the store and found a tree they all agreed was pretty ugly.
Tommy said, "Well, this is about the ugliest tree I've ever seen. So, Ricardo, what'd the girl say you had to do with it?'
"She said I fell down it and hit every branch. Weird, huh?"
"Well, okay!" Tommy shrugged. "Let's all take turns. Now, make sure you hit every branch."
The Donners had the time of their lives, climbing up and falling down, hitting every branch along the way.
Ricardo said, "Now, I feel like I fell down an ugly tree!" And with that, he turned and began walking back to the store.
"Where are you going?" asked Margerita.
"Well duh! I'm going to go back in there and show that girl what somebody really looks like after they fall down an ugly tree!"
Not knowing what to say as sweat started to drip from his forehead, he blurted, "See anything interesting?"
She looked annoyed and said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I see an interesting creature standing in front of me that looks like he fell down an ugly tree and hit every branch." She walked away.
A few minutes later, Ricardo told his family what the girl had said. They were all amused and decided to leave the store and find an ugly tree. On the way out, Tommy stopped to ask the cashier, "Excuse me, would you happen to know where the closest ugly tree is?"
The cashier stared at him, confused and said, "Looks like you already found it."
Tommy shrugged his shoulders and said, "That youngin' sure wasn't any help! Everybody knows they's ain't no trees in grocery stores." He rolled his eyes and walked out of the store with his family. They found a deserted area behind the store and found a tree they all agreed was pretty ugly.
Tommy said, "Well, this is about the ugliest tree I've ever seen. So, Ricardo, what'd the girl say you had to do with it?'
"She said I fell down it and hit every branch. Weird, huh?"
"Well, okay!" Tommy shrugged. "Let's all take turns. Now, make sure you hit every branch."
The Donners had the time of their lives, climbing up and falling down, hitting every branch along the way.
Ricardo said, "Now, I feel like I fell down an ugly tree!" And with that, he turned and began walking back to the store.
"Where are you going?" asked Margerita.
"Well duh! I'm going to go back in there and show that girl what somebody really looks like after they fall down an ugly tree!"